


Work Experience

by JohnAmendAll



Category: Doctor Who (1963)
Genre: Gen, Trope Bingo Round 3, Unexpected Friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-24
Updated: 2014-05-24
Packaged: 2018-01-26 08:27:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,412
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1681535
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JohnAmendAll/pseuds/JohnAmendAll
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>At the last minute, Peri is rescued from certain death — by the wrong Time Lord.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Work Experience

**Author's Note:**

> For the trope_bingo 'unexpected friendship' square.

For what must surely be the last time, Peri looked desperately out of her cage, hoping to see a flash of the Doctor's multicoloured coat among the druids and their followers. But it seemed that either he hadn't managed to escape, or he hadn't been able to come up with any sort of rescue plan in time. The kindling around the base of the cage was already well alight, the circle of flame closing in on Peri like the jaws of some implacable monster... 

Abruptly, a surprised look flashed across the chief druid's face. He opened his mouth, as if to speak, then tumbled forward. His colleagues darted towards his fallen body; as they did so, clouds of choking green smoke billowed from his clothes, engulfing them all and rapidly expanding. A moment later the smoke reached Peri, catching at her throat and making her eyes water. Coughing uncontrollably, she was in no position to resist when someone grabbed her from behind and dragged her through the suddenly open cage door and away. By the time she'd managed to blink the smoke out of her eyes, she was on her hands and knees in a clump of bushes, gasping for breath. 

"What..." she managed. She looked over her shoulder and saw, for the first time, the face of her rescuer. "Oh no." 

"Don't think I'm happy about this either," the Rani said. "I certainly didn't rescue you out of the goodness of my hearts." 

"Thanks anyway, I guess." Cautiously, Peri got to her feet. There was no sign of pursuit; she could hear distant sounds of coughing and shouting, but none of them seemed to be coming her way. "So why did you save me?" 

"Because I could do with a lab assistant, and you're the nearest thing to one on this dirtball backwater of a planet." 

"Lab assistant?" 

The Rani directed her best glare at Peri. "If you're just going to repeat what I say, I'll give you back to those primitives and let them set light to you. Now follow me." 

Reasoning that she didn't have much of a choice, Peri did as she was told. 

"Here's some advice," the Rani said, striding through the scrubby vegetation as if she owned it. "Don't try to second-guess me. Don't ask stupid questions. Don't expect that idiotic Doctor to come and save you, because he won't. If you want anything from me, you've got to earn it. And if I get the smallest hint of trouble from you, I'll grind you up and use you as plant food. Clear?" 

Peri found her throat was dry. "Yeah." she managed, and wondered if she'd end up wishing she'd been burned alive instead. 

⁂

"This is where we'll be working," the Rani said. "Don't touch anything you don't understand, and if you get any bright ideas about sabotage all you'll do is delay me by a few hours and write your own death warrant." 

Peri nodded. She ought, she supposed, to be a shivering, tongue-tied bundle of nerves. After all, she was in the Rani's TARDIS, completely in the power of a ruthless and unscrupulous Time Lady who showed no compunction about killing people who got in her way. But at least she wasn't deceitful, like the Master; if she said she had a use for Peri, she probably had. And Peri had to admit that this was the most impressive, not to mention tidy, laboratory she'd ever been in. 

The Rani glanced at her, then turned to a rack of what Peri assumed to be the equivalent of Petri dishes. Swiftly, she sorted through them, stacking most of them neatly on a workbench. 

"Make yourself useful," she said. "I want these cleaned, sterilised, and prepared with Growth Medium 8. Can you do that, if I show you how?" 

"I... I guess so," Peri said. 

"Good." The Rani looked her new assistant up and down. "And for Omega's sake put on something sensible. I'm not interested in the elastic deformation of artificial fabrics. Lab coats are in that locker." 

⁂

"What do you think?" the Rani asked, examining her latest graph of results. 

Peri looked around, just in case anyone else had suddenly appeared in the lab. "Who, me?" 

"Yes, you. You've got a tongue in your head. Use it." 

"Well..." Peri looked at the graph, and found herself feeling like a schoolgirl called up in front of the class to explain her working. "Looks like that cell line's resisting the fungus best... and that one. But it's nowhere near enough." 

"That'll do. You can spot the obvious, at any rate." The Rani circled four areas of the graph with a coloured pen. "We'll crossbreed from those cultures tomorrow. Wash up and then you can call it a night. Now what are you gawping at?" 

"I thought you said I was your slave." 

"You are. What's that got to do with anything?" 

"I guess I expected you'd keep me working until I dropped." 

The Rani shook her head. "Don't think this is anything to do with your welfare, because it isn't. But if I overwork you you'll start making even more stupid mistakes than you do already. Go through that door, turn right, bedroom's on the third left. If you aren't asleep within half an hour there's a choice of sedatives in the bedside cabinet." 

"But I..." 

The Rani gave her a withering glare, and Peri decided that discretion was definitely the better part of valour. 

⁂

"Can I ask something?" Peri said. It was a number of days later — exactly how many, Peri wasn't sure. By now the cell cultures they were engineering definitely had the fungus, tenacious though it was, on the run. Physically, she was probably in as good a condition as she'd been for some time — the Rani had paid rigid attention to her presumed requirements regarding diet, sleep and exercise — but the strain of concentrating for so long on a single project was beginning to tell. She'd managed, so far, to avoid saying anything rash. The question was how long it would be before that changed. 

"Only if it's sensible," the Rani said, hardly bothering to look up. 

Peri plucked up her courage. "Is there some reason you can't take this TARDIS anywhere?" 

"What makes you think I can't?" 

Slightly relieved that she'd provoked so little reaction, Peri ploughed on. "You said I was the only person on this world who could be your lab assistant. That's why you saved me. But you'd still have been able to go to another world, unless... well, unless there was something stopping you." 

The Rani gave her a long look. "Got there in the end, I see," she said. 

"So you're— so we're stuck here?" 

"Not quite in the sense you mean. There's nothing mechanically wrong with this ship. The problem's biological contamination." 

"You mean this fungus?" Peri indicated the crowded workbench. "You're worried it might spread?" 

"That's right. You've seen what it's done to the vegetation out there." 

"Hang on!" Peri jumped to her feet. "You mean _that's_ why the crops failed? That was why those druids were sacrificing me!" 

The Rani appeared unmoved. "Sit down." 

"You nearly got me killed and all you can say is—" 

Unhurriedly, the Rani got up, stepped forward until she was facing Peri, and put her hands on Peri's shoulders. "I won't tell you again." 

Afraid to push her luck too far, Peri let herself be pushed back down onto the stool she'd been sitting on. The Rani nodded, then moved to stand behind her assistant. 

"You're showing high levels of stress," she said. "I can't have that." 

With something akin to incredulity, Peri realised that her captor — one of the most ruthless and evil beings she'd encountered — was giving her a shoulder massage. Even weirder, it felt rather good. 

"The contamination of this planet was an accident," the Rani went on, while her fingers worked at Peri's tense, knotted muscles. "I arrived to collect samples for a possible biological countermeasure, but there must have been spores on the outside of the ship. And you can hardly blame me for the behaviour of those ludicrous druids. I'd have thought even they would realise that if they wanted to use you to fertilise crops, they'd have done better composting you than setting light to you." 

"Wouldn't have worked, either way," Peri ventured. 

"No, but at least then they wouldn't have been wasting scarce resources. I've no time for that." She let go of Peri's shoulders. "Feeling calmer now?" 

"Y-yeah. I mean, I guess so." 

"Back to work, then. Let's have effectiveness figures from the current batch." 

Peri began to work through the cell cultures, passing each one under the microscope in turn. "I was scared you'd cut my head off or something. Not give me a shoulder rub." 

"You seem to be confusing me with that twerp who calls himself the Master," the Rani said. "I don't waste valuable material just for the sake of some petty act of revenge." 

"So I'm 'valuable material,'" Peri said, unable to keep the bitterness completely out of her voice. "At least I'm valuable." 

"You're valuable only as long as you're useful to me." The Rani rose to her feet. "So make sure you remain useful. When I come back I'll want those figures complete and tabulated." She turned to go, then turned back. "If you're still feeling tense, take fifteen minutes in one of the sensory stimulation chambers. But make sure to calibrate it for a human, or you'll burn out half your nervous system." 

She strode out. 

_I'd rather have the stress_ , Peri decided. 

⁂

"Well?" the Rani asked. 

Peri double-checked the view in the microscope. "Completely clear. Just like the other four." She looked up, and felt a smile spreading across her face. "Does that mean we've done it?" 

"Quite possibly." For a moment, Peri was sure that the Rani was suppressing a triumphant grin of her own. "It's certainly worth moving to the next step, at any rate." 

"What's that?" 

"Produce that variant in bulk, release it at various points on the planet, and see how it performs in the field." She gave Peri an appraising look. "Have you eaten properly today?" 

Peri blushed, and shook her head. "I didn't want to miss when the results came through." 

"Commendable enthusiasm. Now go and eat." 

⁂

The next few days passed in a whirl of activity. Peri's involvement with the bulk production of the cell strain didn't require the same level of concentration as breeding and isolating it had, but she still had to be alert and ready for the slightest sign that something was amiss. As the glitches in production were ironed out, new activities were introduced: introducing the results to various parts of the planetary ecosystem. Peri found herself accompanying the Rani on nearly every such expedition, becoming familiar with parts of the planet she'd had no idea existed. Blighted fields, sweltering jungles, frigid tundra, all received a visit from the two. 

"I bet I know why you bring me along every time you do this," Peri said. 

The Rani was bent over the aerosol dispersal unit, calibrating it to match the local weather conditions. "I don't bet," she said. 

"Well, I think it's not because of anything technical. You do all that. So... I think it's because you don't want to carry the biomaterial. It's heavy and it smells disgusting. That's why you make me carry it every time." 

The Rani still didn't look round, but it sounded as if she was smiling. "What else are lab assistants for?" 

"The thing is, if you want me to do it next time, you need to do something for me now." 

"Well?" 

Peri cleared her throat. "I'm kinda stuck here. Can you get me out?" 

The Rani, finally, swung round, and took in the sight. Peri had, it seemed, been climbing a tree in order to take a closer look at something not easily visible from the ground, and become tangled in the branches. With a sigh, the Rani left the dispersal unit and walked over to the tree. 

"Humans," she said. "I don't know how the Doctor puts up with you." She reached up and pulled a branch to one side. "Try now." 

A few moments later, red-faced and with her lab coat torn in several places, Peri was on the ground under the tree. 

"What did you want up there, anyway?" the Rani asked, returning to the dispersal unit. 

"There was a growth on one of the branches. Looked like mistletoe. I wanted to see if there were berries." 

"Pointless curiosity." The Rani snapped down a switch on the unit. With a hiss, the sour odour of the bacterial culture began to spread through the air. "Your only concern should be the current project. Now get back to the TARDIS and get cleaned up." 

Peri wiped what felt like leafmould off her face. "I guess you don't want me contaminating anything, right?" There was no answer, so she obediently hurried back in the direction of where they'd left the TARDIS. "Right." 

⁂

In her travels through time and space, Peri had seen many sights that she'd readily have described as 'weird'. What she saw when she emerged from the decontamination chamber was definitely in the top five, though. She'd never expected to see the Rani willingly wearing a tight leopardskin top, short dress, and high heels, or carrying a pink handbag. 

"Oh, do stop gawping," the Rani said. "And get some clothes on. Quickly, or we'll be late." 

"What clothes?" Peri managed. "And how can we be late? Can't you just land the TARDIS earlier?" 

"We've landed in enough places on this world by now that our freedom of movement in time is constrained. Dress for a night out. We're going to a bar." 

Peri rubbed her ears. "There must be some of that decon goop left in my ear. I thought I heard you say we were going to a bar." 

"If that was an attempt at humour, don't bother to repeat it." The Rani folded her arms. "Unless you want to spend the evening in number 3 incubation vat cleaning each and every surface with a toothbrush." 

Peri opened her mouth to speak, thought better of it, and made for the TARDIS wardrobe. 

⁂

While their outfits might have been appropriate for a nightclub back on Earth, Peri decided that they really weren't the right choice in this bucolic tavern. Not that any of the other drinkers had made any comment, after the Rani had glared them down; and after a couple of mugs of beer, Peri had decided it really wasn't worth worrying about. It was probably also the drink that had emboldened her to engage the Rani in conversation. 

"The Doctor said you were at college together," she said. "Was that really true?" 

"As far as it went," the Rani said. She gave Peri a searching look. "You're probably trying to imagine it, aren't you? You can't. Whatever institution you attended, the Academy was nothing like it." 

Peri, who had indeed been picturing something vaguely like the California Institute of Technology only with more spaceships and bug-eyed monsters, took another gulp of beer. 

"I guess you didn't have sororities, then," she said. "Or cheerleaders." 

The Rani chuckled. "Or deans, though Cardinal Tuthred came close. And if he'd ever set eyes on a cheerleader, he'd have had a hearts-attack." 

"So what was the Doctor like? Back then, I mean?" 

"Still infuriating, of course. He never took anything seriously. I told him he'd get into trouble with an attitude like that, but he wouldn't listen." 

Peri nodded. "He never does." 

"He only got through his exams on the retake because of me," the Rani said, leaning forward. "I took charge of his revision schedule. Otherwise he'd still be there now." 

"Oh," said a man sitting at the next table. His voice was unmistakeably the Doctor's. "And you were always a model student, of course?" 

Peri and the Rani both whirled round, to see the Doctor, removing a rough sheepskin overcoat to reveal his usual multicoloured jacket. 

"Doctor!" Peri gasped. "How long have you... I mean, did you hear...?" 

"Long enough," the Doctor said. "And by the look of things I've got to you in time. Rani, you can drop any thought of whatever foul, depraved experiments you were going to perform on my companion." 

"That's not fair!" Peri protested. "She wasn't going to experiment on me." 

"Really?" 

"She's been trying to cure this fungus that was killing the crops, and I've been helping her." 

"Ah, so **that's** what happened to the harvest." The Doctor nodded, as if an earlier guess of his had been confirmed. "I thought I recognised the pattern of materialisations. Regular, efficient, and completely devoid of imagination. Predicting where you'd land next was simplicity itself." 

The Rani made a noise expressive of contempt. "If it really was that simple, you'd have shown up days ago." 

"I haven't time to argue the toss. Peri, let's get you back to the TARDIS before she starts extracting vital fluids from your brain." 

"She wouldn't do that!" Peri turned to the Rani. "Tell him!" 

"She's right," the Rani said. "Her brain fluids can stay where they are for all I care." 

The Doctor took her hand. "Peri, the Rani doesn't have any moral sense. She wouldn't try to cure a crop disease out of the goodness of her heart. She'd only do it if the disease was in her way somehow." He looked back at the Rani. "Don't tell me, it was causing trouble on that planet you've got under your thumb, wasn't it? Damaging productivity, I suppose." 

"It still means the disease gets cured, doesn't it?" Peri countered. 

"For all you know she was the one who developed it in the first place! You really are being extremely naïve, Peri." 

"And you're being unfair." Peri rose to her feet. "Thanks for rescuing me, anyway." 

"You're—" the Doctor began. 

"I didn't mean you." Peri drained her mug and set it down on the table. 

"Just a minute," the Rani said. "You think you can walk off with my lab assistant and I'm just going to let you?" 

The Doctor met her eye. "Actually, yes." 

"Misplaced self-confidence was always your weak point, Doctor." 

"You hardly seem to suffer from a deficit of it either." 

"Foolish bluster," the Rani snapped. "You'll have to do better than that." 

"Very well, if you insist. Since you seem to be in a mood for Academy reminiscences, suppose I tell Peri exactly what happened after the scaphe race in ninety-fourth week?" 

For an instant, an expression of shock seemed to pass across the Rani's face. "You wouldn't." 

"I would — if you insist on keeping Peri in vile captivity." 

"You didn't come out of it particularly well." 

"But then I didn't have your brilliant reputation to uphold." The Doctor held out his hand to Peri. "Let's be on our way." 

⁂

"So what did happen with you and the Rani after whatever race it was?" Peri asked, as they reached the TARDIS. 

"I can't tell you," the Doctor said, delving in his waistcoat for the key. "We all swore a solemn oath never to discuss the events of that night. I could only break such an oath for the gravest of reasons — such as rescuing you from the Rani's fiendish clutches." 

"I still think you're not being fair to her," Peri said. 

The Doctor unlocked the door and pushed it open. "That's because I know her. Everything she does is only to benefit one person: herself." 

"That isn't true!" Peri insisted, as she followed him into the console room. "Why would she take me out to that pub and buy me drinks?" 

"Probably just to check that her little antifungal agent hadn't poisoned the beer. You'd be a suitable guinea pig to test it on." 

"Now you're just making stuff up," Peri said. "Look, I get that she's dangerous, but she's not crazy with it. Not like the Master." 

"You're tired," the Doctor said, sounding as if he was falling back to a last line of defence. "Go and get some sleep." 

Peri nodded. "OK," she said, and made for the inner door of the TARDIS. "Ow, my neck's stiff again. Pity the Rani isn't here. She gives great shoulder rubs." 

She passed through the door, and was gone. 

"Shoulder rubs?" the Doctor repeated, incredulously. "Shoulder rubs? _Shoulder rubs?_ "


End file.
